RamblingSimon Rants About: Gay Animals

While most people worry about if the homosexual community will be given the right to marriage in the United States or if God will lay down His Almighty Judgement first, there are some who are noticing deeper threats to the natural balance. Just ask Michal Grzes.

A recent Reuters article states that Grzes, a Polish politician, has criticized his local zoo about an elephant it had gotten. Not just any old elephant. This one is a GAY elephant.
















Ninio, the 10-Year Old Elephant who's been ousted from the closet, was acquired to mate with the female elephants. Unfortunately, Ninio's trunk doesn't swing that way. Grzes told reports last Friday, "We didn't pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there."

It's quite true, really. Many zoos typically operate under a type of "Don't Ask; Don't Tell" policy, much like the military and Equal Housing Lenders. Some zoo keepers will debate, however, that homosexuality is not the same in animals as it is in humans. According to crazy zoologists, elephants will engage in same-sex activities, such as mounting, as a way of showing companionship. That it shows a bond between the two elephants. Sounds pretty gay to me.

I applaud Grzes for bringing this issue to the forefront. While this doesn't pose an issue for the ignorant masses, let me just ask you one thing: What is the American Dream?

The answer should be quite simple: A spouse, two or three children, a nice two-story home, a white picket fence, and a dog to watch over everyone. Now, imagine that vision crumbling. Why?















This. Your dog has caught 'The Gay'. Animal homosexuality will turn sour for the American family. How can we have our kids be around such a negative influence without them turning out just as bad? In fact, how can we let our straight dogs into dog parks if liberals are bringing their gay dogs to play? Poor, innocent Rover will get violated by Fufu. Rover will start to develop a lisp in his bark and will want to wear a cute bandana everytime he gets a haircut.

As 'The Gay' spreads, more and more neighborhoods will see a rise in this kind of behavior. The family unit will fall apart, and the United States will be doomed, all because of gay influence from animals. If it weren't for heroes like Grzes, we wouldn't have a means to tell animals it's not okay to have a choice in what makes you happy, unless the choice is 'conformity'.