RamblingSimon Rants About: Banana Phone

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANA PHONE!!!!

Ok, Raffi's Banana Phone song. If you haven't heard it, stop reading this, go to YouTube or Limewire or something, and listen to it. It's awesome. If you are just returning, have heard it, or haven't heard it and you are just being a giant douche, this rant is about that song.

Now, the song makes no sense...or does it? It is my belief that there are strong overtones on the subject of nuclear proliferation. Think of the times. Raffi was born in 1948, during the Baby Boom era. Sure, he was Canadian, but who gives a damn! They were still apart of the baby boom, dammit! Anyways, growing up in Canada, he became quite acquainted with anti-Soviet propoganda during the height of the Cold War in the 50s and 60s. Easily influenced, he secretly became a War Hawk, believing in the 1980s that the best way to go was to bomb the hell out of those bastards overseas! What can I say? He's a guy. We get turned on by blowing shit up.

Anyways, let's jump ahead to 1993. Early in the year, Bush Snr. signed the START II treaty with Russia to lower the amount of nuclear arms. This was bad for Raffi. He wanted us to keep sending nukes out to blow shit up! So what does he do? He single-handedly tries to restart the Cold War! In 1994, he comes out with Banana Phone. Where's the connection? His plan was to get kids to walk around the house with a banana to their ears going "BOOP BOO BA DOO BA DOOP" and scaring mothers into thinking the Soviets were sending coded messages to their children using fruit, hindering all treaties futile, increasing tensions between the two nations, and increasing the amount of nukes produced to send around the world!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA

Unfortunately, that's an incredibly stupid idea and it never took off. Fucking Canadians and their stupidity....I mean seriously, who drinks milk from a bag?!