RamblingSimon Rants About: Nurses

I'll be the first to say it....I know about as much about nurses as I do about Catholicism, screamo music, and craps (ok, ONE casino game I DON'T get....besides penny machines. Those suck). Nevertheless, I shall attempt to rant about nursing students.

Now, my lovable stepmother is a nurse. She's a CNA with Metron. She went for a year of schooling at like a community college and did a two-week class with Spectrum. She said she was going to be a RN, but it was too much responsibility and she doesn't want to deal with needles and blood. What a wuss. Now for people who have no idea what CNA and RN....well, join the club. Just think of Animal House: CNAs are new college students and RNs a fraternity leaders. And all the CNAs are Kevin Bacon, just so I can listen to them all say, "thank you, sir, may I have another?"

Now, RNs think they are the shit, what with more responsibility and drawing blood and making CNAs clean up when someone soils themselves. But even when you have awesome power like that, there's also problem areas to factor in, like patient relations, for instance. I don't mean if you get too attached and they move out or pass on. No, what they think of you. For female nurses, having male patients has to suck. You get a good looking nurse who is in charge of looking you over, the fantasies and scenarios running through your head could be absolutely boundless. Of course, I always get the unattractive ones...which is kinda a letdown. Now, nurses are amongst the top of the list when it comes to sexual fantasies, along with business women, librarians, schoolgirls, rodeo clowns, and secretaries. How is a nurse supposed to feel comfortable knowing that the only thing on a male patients' mind is "SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX." Granted, that's usually what's ALWAYS on our minds, so they just have to deal with a little more of it, I guess.

And what about male nurses? You don't hear women thinking about that cute nurse standing right next to that man who earned a Ph.D. In fact, I think male nurses are amongst the most UNDERRATED of all professionals! Sure, they didn't go the extra mile to be a doctor, but there's cooler things about being a nurse than a doctor. I like my nurses. They deal with patients on a more personal level. Doctors usually piss me off because they get you, do their work, and go on their way...doctors are more or less VERY EXPENSIVE hookers, who just leave you feeling bad after it's over. Nurses take care of you! GIVE MORE RESPECT TO THE MALE NURSES!!!!

Now...I've rambled on for quite a while and I seem to be lacking a point. I guess all I really have to say in closing is this:

I WANT A HOT NURSE FOR ONCE!!!!